Monday, June 26, 2006
Almost a year.... where has the time gone.
I haven't really been absent, just not faithful to my Blogger buddies. I have another account at Xanga to keep in touch with my girls, they are members there too, and I can post and as their buddy, I get some much needed face time without interruption.
This is the year of the first graduation, the last of many things we will do together, and sometimes I feel, the beginning of my madness.
Quietly I've tried thinking my feelings through-trying to explain the turmoil I feel inside. I'm thrilled to death she's off to college, a place I'll never go. I'm excited she's grown into a great human citizen, much more than I was at 18, but parts of me grasp wildly at the thin air that will soon replace her presence in our house.
Hot on her heels, is our youngest daughter, who will graduate in '07. I worry I will spend so much time mourning my oldest's leaving that I will miss many of her "lasts," something I hope to aviod.
Since 18, I've never been childless, or short even one of them. This is a very challenging time for me, as I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. I'd heard long, boring stories about mothers who lived for their children and were helpless and depressed after they left the nest, I guess I should have paid more attention to their pathetic souls so long ago.
That's as deep as I can go with that now. I'm still flailing about mentally too much to dissect it any more.
On to other things...
I'm still working at the news, and I love it just as much as ever. It's allowed me to be flexible with doing school things, college things, house things and still earn my 40 hours.
I've grown a lot, learned a lot, and it just keeps getting better.
The house, well, 2006 has been the year of the challenge. We lost the barn well in March, and right now I'm struggling with the house well. Seems our piping is old enough that scale is flaking off on the inside and clogging our pump nozzle. The first well in the barn was $1,100, and that was just for a quick hand drill. The house one will be upwards of $3,000 and we just don't have that kind of spare cash laying around so I'm fighting it tooth and nail.
The barn roof still needs done, $15,000 there, and windows, $8,000.
It's going to be expensive.
My husband is ready to move, but I just keep asking him to hang in there. What we have now, even with it's foibles, is what almost every homeowner in America wants, a house, barn, and a few acres to tool around on. To me it's priceless.